Zero
Ronan Condon
Absolute Fucking Champion
clan : n8z
posts : 816
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(updates at the bottom)
prep day #1 : so, the
time has come to give up the weed for good, break the habit, save the health, what the
fuck have i done? do i honestly think i can stop smoking? i have been smoking 60 benson
religiously every day for longer than i can remember, what can i do instead? how many
packets of airwaves does it take, how many patches to finally kill the craving? the worst
part of it is, i don't know anyone who smokes as many cigarettes as i do, or needs them as
much. that means that however hard i have heard it is to give up the little white cigars,
it is going to be twice as hard for me. now that's not fucking funny.
smoking, is there anything it can't do? ah the
memories, sitting in the pub smoking, lying in bed smoking, driving my
car smoking, talking to my mates smoking, fighting with my mates smoking,
playing quake smoking, playing soccer smoking. rain,
hail or shine, smoking. cold, flu, throat infection, smoking. nothing
mattered, i always had smoking. now i have to stop. for two main reasons, the first being
my health because when i breathe now i sound like an old man. the second being money, i'm
sure i can find a better use for £300 a month, or can i ? i pay £270 a month on a
car loan, £300 a month on my cancer loan.
so that's it, i have to stop, and i think i will lead all
you people through my agony day by day, starting soon. if i make it to day 28,
well then i will claim victory and ride off into the sunset. if i don't make it that
far, well then i have to go back to day one again. watch this space, it's not as if you
have anything fucking better to do.
prep day #2 : i have
been saying to myself, or anyone who asks me, "ah yeah, i'm giving up the smokes
within a week or two", but jesus i'm starting to like it more and more now that i'm
sposed to give them up. i asked the girlfriend, who only smokes 3 or 4 a day, was she
giving them up to help me. "not at all", she said, "sure i only smoke a few
a day". great. i live in an apartment with 6 other people, every one of them smokes,
when they arent smoking fags, they're smoking gear, you walk in the door and a cloud of
smoke meets you at the door. it's beautiful.
wasn't it walter raleigh who brought tobacco back to europe?
what a sound bastard, even if he was english. i was going to
give the smokes up for new year, but i had been smoking fuck all during xmas at home in
the house, and if i'm going to give them up, i need to dose myself up for at least a week
before that. i'm leaving my job on the 19th, heading back to limerick, i want to have stopped by then. fuck it, i'm gonna start tomorrow.
day 1 (09/01/2001): uggghhh, no time to type, am in cork on a job, job not goin well, need a fucking cigarette, eric, stop editing my news, gone .......
day 2 (10/01/2001): ok, so i screwed up, i went smoking again yesterday, it's my own fault picking a day to stop that i drive 350 miles and work for 9 hours on top of that. left my gaff yesterday at 6am, got back last night at 12 midnight after a completely horrible job. call it an excuse, i am still serious about giving them up, i'll simply start again. may god have mercy on my soul........*sigh*
map_restart (11/01/2001): right so. i'll be starting again on saturday. my mate in my gaff is starting at the same time so that should make it easier. i was gonna start today, but i woke up hanging for one, so it's so much easier to say saturday. this is turning into a farce, so if i don't start saturday, i might as well forget it, and make a cup of tea and scones for cancer when he knocks in later this decade.
that's kind of part of the reason i put this up here on my column. you see, if i fail, it makes me publicly look like a complete and utter pussy, heh, so i can't be havin that. i'll start on saturday, and this time i will succeed. yes. someday i'll be able to say "no thanks, i don't smoke". nice.
the calm before the storm (12/01/2001): ah well, no more excuses, i'll be smoking my last cigarette tonight sometime. i know most ppl don't think i'll actually manage to give them up, just wait and see, this will be the end. if it's not, i give up, i'll start smoking more....
i realized there yesterday, that if i had put the money i spent on smokes along with my car loan, in the last 12 months i would have paid off £6840 to the bank, i.e. completely paid for my current car, or i could have more than 25% of a brand new toyota celica paid off. that's fucking terrible, and tbh i think i am doing this more for the money than for my health. it's so stupid, i'll give out about a shop charging 20 or 30 pence more than the normal, but have no problem paying ir£11.40 a day on cigarettes. and i'm sposed to be reasonably intelligent ?? right then, let's see how i feel tomorrow.
day 1 (13/01/2001): ah yeah, who's ure daddy, not trying to count my chickens or anything but so far today i am nicotene free. got up at 9am and drove to west cork, four and a half hours in the car, and still havent had one yet. that's like 7 hours without a smoke, jesus. we'll see how i feel later on. not too bad atm for some reason, i have to go drinking later tonite tho, so if i come on this column tomorrow still without a smoke, i want you all to kneel down and bow to me, for i am your god.....
day 2 (14/01/2001): (offline for weekend)
day 3 (15/01/2001): it's weird, i hadn't any cigarettes all weekend. i was there last night hanging for one, and was talking to my mate in the gaff. he's after buying that "world famous" book wot makes ppl want to give up smoking, he's starting today and is actually looking forward to giving them up. so i was reading through it for a while, and it's weird, the stuff the guy in the book says, it's like he makes all that "need a smoke" stuff soooo see-through, it's fucked up. the guy has an answer for everything that a potential "giver-up" of the smokes would say to make himself feel better about going back on them. worse again, he curses all those patches and things to hell, claiming you don't need them. it probably sounds a bit weird, but you would have to read the book to understand. i'm getting it today for myself. one of the things that makes sense out of the book is this :
the guy says that the withdrawal from nicotene is actually very slight, barely noticeable. i was thinking "that's bullshit, i'm sitting here clinging on", but the guy says that the reason ppl think there's a big withdrawal from nicotene is because they make such a big deal about giving up, they think they are making a huge sacrifice, so then when there is the slightest "need" for a smoke, you brain is there in the back of your mind going "need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke need a smoke", and in reality it's all bollocks, the main thing hitting anyone is the fear that they won't actually give up. do you see what i mean?
i'll be perfectly honest, i have had 2 cigarettes this morning, more out of boredom in work than anything else. but the thing is, i know for a fact that i will be off them permanently by the weekend, and will be enjoying it.....does anyone else think that's a bit nuts?
the reason i am kinda waiting to read this book is the comparison i made between me and my mate niall(who bought the book) last night when we were chatting about it. someone has said that i had a two day headstart on niall for giving them up, but the difference was, that he's giving up today/tomorrow and will sail on without a bother, while i was there after 2 days with my big "nnnggghhhh off the smokes" head on me, and one of the random pages i read in that book basically showed me up as one of the ppl who just sits there prolonging it to see how long they can last without one, but will inevitably go back on them. that's the difference, he is giving them up, i am/was just taking a break from smokes and being miserable about it. but just the small bit of this book that i read has be seeing a lot of things differently already, so basically what i'm saying is....this time next week, i'll be a non-smoker, and i won't be keeping a diary/account of it either, because i won't need it. i'll update later in the week.
i just read back over this edit and it sounds like i'm on drugs or something.....leave it with me, i'll update on this day next week...(probably sooner if i get bored)
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the diary of a quaker giving up the smokes
