saik
mr.nobody
posts : 242
| having waited seven years to get 50 - 150 ping or a playable connect, one often wondered what it would be like losing it. one had met the ghosts of long suffering irish martyrs to the cause, speaking in tongues, babbling about seven years of eircom imposed purgatory.
they had gone from rags to rapture'99 and back to rags, the incomprehensible torture of it all. would one have the moral fibre to withstand such a blow? to be excommunicated? then god appeared in a dream. he spoke of a great pilgrimage to the holy land, and added that one would be without quake for a very long time. the very next day, it came true. one was distraught, but one knew he had a plan. in accordance with the prophecy, 'megalan' was skipped and one studied for exams - in order to have the entire summer devoted to holy works, instead of returning early for the penance of repeats. god granted the miracle of compensation for the exam the unworthy had thrice failed, and off one went. as a test, god enabled dsl in the local exchange the day after embarkation. on the other hand, he did not deem it fit to grant prizes to those who took one's place at megalan. beware of false promises and idle hopes. truly, he works in mysterious ways.
the holy land is indeed a wonderful place. huge dsl connections everywhere and no quake capable machines anywhere - another testing irony. especially having come from a land of no dsl connections and plenty of quake capable machines. temperatures in the mid 40's and alcohol at a dollar a bottle were the source of many temptations and many mornings of penance. after spending seventy seven days and seventy seven nights in the desert, one made one's way back to the land of saints and scholars to continue education. but first, one attended a meeting, and met with success, rewarded with a radeon 9600. one went out into the bitter cold night, returning to one's den. all night sermons, drinking the fruits of buckfast abbey, fasting and long periods of meditation & contemplation are the paths to everlasting glory. one must walk them as frequently as possible. on occaision, one can practice quake with others who are of like mind and close proximity. one can attend group meetings, but less and less attend and one is to remain excommunicated.
but hope is still burning, faith has not been lost, evidence being the capture the flag team performing well against the heathens after so long in the dark. the new year brings new possibilities. quakelan! and he has told me, that at the very latest, august 2004, i will be allowed enter the church again, at 512k up and 128k down, 30 milliseconds from the altar. rejoice.
what kind of retarded shite am i writing anyway. haha.
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