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| well, its finally upon us: another release of quake. im kind of excited about it, but at the same time, kind of sad. why? because im a whinger. when i lose, i get enraged and blame everything from ping to my choice of socks that morning. pathetic, i know. in reality, at my best i was a mediocre player. right now, im pretty terrible. why? ive got a bad attitude.
whats wrong with my attitude? i wrongly think ive got some innate skill that doesnt require practice. i dont spend any time playing online. i never joined an active clan, well not really, i did belong to clan [jedi] once in the netquake days, but i had a large advantage then since i worked for ireland online and had sub-10ms ping times to the server while everyone else made do with 14.4 and 28.8 modems. maybe thats what gave me the attitude that i kind of carried on over the years. everyone company i ever worked in, i instigated the quake 1/3 playing after work and i always dominated. i dominated because of my slight advantage of the couple of years of casual play and this made me think i was the dogs bollocks.
even when quake 3 came along in 99 (i never got into q2 multiplayer) i did pretty good at the start, i wasnt too bad, but again i didnt practice against better players tbh, i just ffad and i think the qw madskillz helped there because i usually placed top 3. of course, ffa is utter crap, its just fun for honing the reactions. dueling and tdm/ctf is where the real skills lie. dueling has always been an attraction for me since there are very few unpredictable elements to the game: just you and your opponent. while some may claim to be able to know where all four of the opposing side are in a tdm, most cannot. you can always make a reasonable guess where someone is in a duel. i just prefer the greater [perceived] control you have of your environment. i kinda feel ive only got myself to blame if i lose.
i guess with quake 4 around the corner, i feel ive got a chance to start again with a new attitude. ive not really been playing quake the last couple of years since i just moved to a new country, got married and have been working my paddy tits off. i just finished a long contract though in july and i took a bit of time off to relax, and naturally i gravitated back to the dueling. i played a little online and got fucking whipped continually. everytime id join a server and id chat a little, id tell the guy to go easy since i was a noob and hed say "me too" and proceed to destroy me. lol. the funny thing is that he was telling the truth, and that i was the one who was exaggerating. i discovered that the whole lg/rg domination has just got worse ten-fold. i couldnt fart without getting railed or fried with the lg. however, one thing saved me -- or rather one map: hub3aeroq3. i love it. somehow, it made getting railed and fried constantly more tolerable, and i was able to improve more in the last 2 months than the three years before that. granted, im no czm, but i think ive fixed my attitude problem. i sucked balls because i didnt play. in order to improve you need to be beaten repeatedly, but you have to keep a clear head and understand while you lost, and not just blame the lack of practice and stop playing. to be honest, i dont have the time to play, being in my thirties and married, but i realise there will always 10 ninja twelve year olds that thrash me for every 4 year old i barely manage to defeat.
all in all, with a new attitude -- and less powerful rg and lg if what ive read is to be believed -- i think im ready for this new game. i just upgraded my dsl to 5mb/800kb and im prepared to get spanked continually for the whole winter, but i dont care. bring it on.
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