Zero
Ronan Condon
Absolute Fucking Champion
clan : n8z
posts : 816
site administrator
| you have to do it in steps:
1) walk into the room, and call him loudly "ian, get up for work!" at least three times, making sure to out of reach of him. (when he wakes up he tends to take a swing at whoever disturbed him from his sleep).
2) open the curtains in the room.
3) open the window in the room.
4) he'll have fallen asleep again while you open the window. if you feel courageous, try prodding the beast again to wake him up, we recommend a stick.
5) at this point, the monster will sit up abruptly in bed, and stare at his watch from 1-inch away trying to see what time it is.
6) you have to speak to him again, because if you don't he will fall asleep staring at the watch.
7) the beast is clever, and will try and slowly slip down into a lying position again, so gently your hand on his shoulder and say "no no, you have to get up, seriously". (if you arent gentle when you place your hands on the beast, his common practise is to tear your arm off.)
8) at this point the beast lets out a roar. if the time is later than 8pm and he's late, the roar is "fuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!", if the time is before 8am, its more like "wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!", sounds like the rocky scream.
9) it's now time to act. if you lose him now, he's gone. hand him his towel and
tell him he better get into the shower. if you miss this chance, he's back asleep, and will hit you when you wake him.
10) once the beast has had a shower, mission accomplished, and you live to see another day.
well done.
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